missing pages


Nowhere to go, on this answerless road.
Symptom, symptom, a swollen lymph node. 
Emptiness lies dormant, behind smiles that hold regret. 
It’s a sad life, when everything’s a threat. 

One pill to swallow, chased with another. 
Appointment after appointment, beside lies my mother. 
Pain throughout my body, with an unstable heart. 
The pilot of this story, has an unsettling start. 

Misdiagnosis; “Take this, it works.”
But Doc, my room’s spinning, while the cause it still lurks. 
I try to stay calm, but my mind it rages.
The cure is engraved, on all missing pages. 

My feet they ache, & my hands hurt too. 
Legs go numb, while my toes turn blue. 
Poor circulation; arms lost feeling. 
Night after night, my body isn’t healing. 

Is the end coming, to my quarter lived life? 
Constantly at war, with this mental strife.  
My life has flashed before my eyes. 
I saw all the smiles, & all the cries. 

The bells they rang, in unison to shifting lights.
Parallel with agony, on dark lonely nights. 
Lost truths, reality’s fictitious, 
How did this happen?  I once was ambitious. 

I found the missing pages — I burned them in my dream. 
My heart is fucking pounding, as I wake, I scream. 
Yet another nightmare, now patiently I wait. 
For this world to reveal, my predetermined fate.